Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Every Kid's Dream Is My Nightmare

Arthur Conan Doyle once said, "I never remember feeling tired by work, though idleness exhausts me completely." I can not think of a statement that fits more perfectly than that quote for my life in this moment. For three days I have been completely idle in school and I have never been more tired. With AP tests looming ever closer, my teachers' curriculums are coming to an end. The whole year has revolved around preparing us for these AP exams. Now that they are so near, there is nothing left to learn. I do not have new material to be learned in any of my classes. So I sit idle. It is hard to be productive when nobody will give you work to do. My life has revolved around teachers telling me what I will learn and what assignments I will complete. Now that has all ended. There is constantly free time. Endless free time. Don't get me wrong; I study for my AP exams. I just can't study one subject for 7 straight hours. Most kids would be jealous of my easy school day filled with nothing but sitting around. The only thing changing is the classroom. But for me, "In idleness there is perpetual despair." I do not like sitting around. I want to be learning. It may not always be fun but it gives me a sense of fulfillment. I am slowly losing all enthusiasm to get up and proceed through the day. I need education. I need to be challenged. If the system can't provide that for me, then I'll teach myself. That seems to be the only solution. 

Saturday, April 25, 2009


The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy, amidst the simple beauty of nature.

My profession is always to be alert, to find God in nature, to know God's lurking places, to attend to all the oratorios and the operas in nature.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Insomnia Journals

I don't really have insomnia. This is a weird night. I went bed around midnight (which is really late for me) only to wake up at 3 am ready to start my day. Try as I might, I could not fall back asleep. But, truthfully, I didn't really want to. I was having one of those really boring dreams where its super short and just replays over and over and over. Kind of like a record that keeps skipping. So now I am writing this blog at 4:36 am while listening to Frank Sinatra. While this is fun in itself, I fear that I will be dead by this afternoon. And I have a ton of tests to study for. How very inconvenient. Maybe I'll go get an early jump on that... I've got nothing better to do!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Photography Contest

As I mentioned in a previous post, I entered a photography contest at school for the school paper. As I was told, none of my pictures fit into the specified categories for competition. But, luckily for me, the judges like my photos so much that they made a special category just for me. It was the kind of like the Overall Best Photographer category. Below I have put the pictures that "won" or were displayed in the paper. I may have already posted some of them.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Italy Photos II

I've been gone for a while. Sorry about that (to all four of my followers). I didn't really have anything exciting to write about. To make up for it (and because I still don't have anything interesting to write about) I've decided to put up a few more of my Italy photos. I hope you like them.

Also, I entered a photography contest for the school newspaper.  The results are supposed to come out tomorrow so I'll keep you posted on that as well. Hope your week has been going well.






Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Bad Day.

Today was a bad day. Actually it wasn't but the events of the past thirty minutes turned it into a bad day. This is the part where I'm going to ramble angrily about things that will make you question my sanity and probably make you think, "This girl does not know the definition of a bad day." But being a teen, and having all that teen angst, I'm using that as an excuse to be dramatic and angry. So here it goes:

Every day I run. Every single day of every week of every month. Occasionally I take a rest day but not often. Today I did not get to run. And that really pisses me off. Running, for me, started out as self-inflicted torture. I hated every second of it, and some days I still do. But, I need to lose weight and this is the way to do it. Good old-fashioned exercise. And now I actually kind of enjoy it. 

On days I have work right after school I run on the treadmill for 30 minutes. The way I survive staring at the same thing for 30 minutes is by watching a movie while I run. Well today, I turn on my TV and start my movie. I'm stretching before in my very zen state of mind, somewhat stoked for this run. I feel like today will be a successful run day.

I look up at the TV and everything is in black and white. The movie is not supposed to be in black and white... normally I may not mind but I wanna get started on my run but I can't just not figure out what is wrong. So I begin to assess the problem, my anger level already rising. Soon I realize this is not a fixable problem. The DVD player just decided to go haywire on me. By the time I figure this out, its too late to run. I'll never get in my 30 minutes and still have time to shower and get to work. So at this point I'm really pissed and my whole day is shot to hell. And nobody in my family is sympathetic to my plight. I'm just whining at my faulty technology. And I am. But it may help if someone could be a little empathetic to my problem instead of totally indifferent. And changing the subject will not fix my problem. 

Alright, well that was my angry rambling about the stupid DVD player that ruined my day. I just hope I can plaster on a convincing enough smile for the customers at work, lest I accidently rub off some of my misery and anger onto them. The bosses would not be happy about that. Now I'll just have to run double tomorrow... assuming I can fix the DVD player by some miracle of magic. Oh joy.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Photos IV

Here are some more of my photos:

(Taken in Acadia National Park, Maine)

(Taken in Maine)

(Taken in Maine)

(Jordan Pond, Maine)

(Jordan Pond, Maine)