Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Every Kid's Dream Is My Nightmare
Arthur Conan Doyle once said, "I never remember feeling tired by work, though idleness exhausts me completely." I can not think of a statement that fits more perfectly than that quote for my life in this moment. For three days I have been completely idle in school and I have never been more tired. With AP tests looming ever closer, my teachers' curriculums are coming to an end. The whole year has revolved around preparing us for these AP exams. Now that they are so near, there is nothing left to learn. I do not have new material to be learned in any of my classes. So I sit idle. It is hard to be productive when nobody will give you work to do. My life has revolved around teachers telling me what I will learn and what assignments I will complete. Now that has all ended. There is constantly free time. Endless free time. Don't get me wrong; I study for my AP exams. I just can't study one subject for 7 straight hours. Most kids would be jealous of my easy school day filled with nothing but sitting around. The only thing changing is the classroom. But for me, "In idleness there is perpetual despair." I do not like sitting around. I want to be learning. It may not always be fun but it gives me a sense of fulfillment. I am slowly losing all enthusiasm to get up and proceed through the day. I need education. I need to be challenged. If the system can't provide that for me, then I'll teach myself. That seems to be the only solution.